The Most Painful Cheat Meal Ever

Posted on 04. Feb, 2012 by in Lifestyle, SUPERHUMAN30 Challenge

It pains me to write this article. Literally, I’m in an excruciating amount of pain right now. The culmination of 60 stomach-ache-free days has hit me like the Unstoppable train. Where were ya on this one Denzel?

It’s four’o clock in the morning and I struggle to remember a time in recent history when I put my body through this much pain. Sure there were the times in college where we decided we were going to eat Chipotle for dinner, drink 20+ beers, and then polish off Steak-n-Shake afterwards. Although pretty standard, those days were quite rough on a guy with severe acid reflux disease.  

But I’m a grown man now… almost 28.  My days of leaning over toilet bowls while my friends hold my hair should be over with. How did it come to this?

Last night, around 7 pm, I decided I was going to have my FIRST CHEAT MEAL of 2012.

 After all, I deserve it! We just completed the SUPERHUMAN30!  We had gone out to eat a couple times during the 30-Day Challenge and even attended a wedding, but I stuck close to the Paleo guidelines and my biggest cheats were a couple glasses of Merlot here and there.

My wife and I took this opportunity to visit our favorite Mexican restaurant in town. Now I know Mexican can be an easy scapegoat for the stomach pain blame (i.e. my man Ben Stiller aka Ruben in Along Came Polly), but I’m not going to point fingers, unless it’s at myself.

It’s a little painful just reminiscing about the meal now, but I don’t want to hold back any details. Appetizers: Chips, salsa, guacamole and Taquitos. Entrée: Grilled Chicken Quesadillas.  Dessert back at home: Snickers Pie my wife had made (yes it’s awesome). Two Drinks: Captain Morgan & Diet Cherry Pepsi.

I know what you are thinking…how could I not expect a stomach ache?

Especially when I AM Ruben from Along Came Polly, or at least I WAS, Pre-Paleo.  While never officially diagnosed with IBD (irritable bowel disease), you can take my word that I definitely had it.

When I was 15 years old I took Accutane acne medicine. One of the main side effects of the drug is IBD (I’m sure you’ve seen the lawsuit commercials on TV…I have not filed…yet.). I believe this, along with my diet of grains and dairy, is purely to blame for my extreme stomach problems over the years.  Another reason I will forever be against prescription drugs of ANY KIND, and why I will always be for a diet of natural foods. Turns out, eating Paleo can clear up skin all on its own!

 This is why I am so passionate about teaching the Paleo diet, because Paleo has truly saved me from becoming Ruben. It has saved me from what I thought was just “bad luck” and “bad genes”.  It could have saved me from the eroding side effects of a drug.  

 I’ve learned so much about my body through eating Paleo.  It’s not just “eat this, drink that” and let’s just see what happens. I now know the euphoria I feel when I’m eating the right foods for my body, and the pain I feel when I bring back the toxins. I’m still going to have cheat meals in the future, but they surely won’t be of this magnitude.

Maybe I got a little too cocky advertising how I had kicked my acid reflux’s butt and sent it on its way. Well it came back with a vengeance and I could not reach fast enough for the Pepto. Still in a good deal of pain, I could use a second dosage right about now too.

 The sun is still sleeping and I wish I was too. I apologize for writing such a downer post in the midst of the glorious finish of the SUPERHUMAN30. I have much more positive articles to post on my wonderful experience.

 I’m swearing off any more cheat meals for a long time…at least until Super Bowl Sunday. Go GIANTS!!!

 And if all you got from this post was that you want the recipe for Snickers Pie then just let me know and I will post the link up 🙂 .  


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